It’s time for another segment of reader (e)mail. Without further ado…
Dan in Mayville, North Dakota writes:
I’ve noticed quite a few players wearing more colorful attire on tour this season, and I think it’s great that they feel comfortable enough to express a tasteful individuality amongst themselves, particularly the younger, up-n-coming types. I think guys like Rickie Fowler are pioneering a new fashion trail for the next generation in golf. Thoughts?
Danny Boy, here’s my thought: I would wear a black leather mini as long as my sponsor keeps sending me endorsement money. You see, it’s all about exposure to them, and it’s all about the money to me. But yes, there’s definitely a noticeable trend taking place with the florescent color schemes going, and young Mr. Fowler appears to be leading the movement. Honestly, I don’t have an issue with it as long as the boundaries are respected. And what I mean by that is that some guys can get away with wearing a bright orange polo and white pants, like Rickie Fowler. But some guys can’t, like those of us with a little more girth. I think khakis and soft-colored shirts were made for us fat guys in mind. I particularly like a mild yellow color, because it easily hides the mustard stains.
George from Hastings, Nebraska writes:
What is it with the ladies on the LPGA tour needing their caddies to line them up to hit the ball? It’s gotten so bad that I’m now starting to see a few players on the men’s tour doing this. Shouldn’t this be against the rules? It’s one of the most basic, integral parts of the game for a golfer!
George, funny you mention this. I was having a similar discussion with a friend the other day about this very topic. You see, the tee box we were playing at the time had my friend lined up to stripe one dead center of a cornfield. So right before he took the club back, I said, “Hey, you might wanna check where you’re aiming, sport.” He looked down at his feet, then put the shaft of the club across his shoulders to see where his upper body was aligned (like it really mattered…) and said, “Wow, good catch. Thank you.” So he backed off, went through his routine again, and lined up dead center of the fairway. Of course, he snap-hooked his tee shot into the pond on the left and wouldn’t talk to me for the next 20 minutes, but it was the thought that counted.
Seriously, you would be amazed at how many amateur golfers aim some place other than the fairway, and are then confused/upset that they hit the ball precisely where they were aiming. In short, I have absolutely no issue with the practice of having a caddie (or whoever) giving an alignment assist, especially if it reduces the amount of time spent looking for a lost ball.
Brenda in Clarksburg, West Virginia writes:
What is it with you men! Myself and three other ladies travel from course to course once a week to play our weekly round of golf, and while we’re not LPGA players, we’re most always breaking 90. We play ready golf, we don’t fart around, and we generally play 18 holes in 4 hours. We get to the course well before our tee time and we’re ready to go when the starter calls us to the first tee. So WHY do you guys always bitch and moan when you unload your bags at the course and see a foursome of women ahead of you, as we spend every round, every week, waiting on you ahead of us on the golf course? I don’t get it.
Brenda, what more can I add… you said it perfectly. I loathe slow play. I don’t care what type of genitalia you have, I don’t care how old you are, I don’t care about how good or bad you play. I just care about not having to wait on every shot, on every hole. And 99 percent of the time when I am bitching and moaning about slow play, it’s because of people with testicles, guys who don’t want to play behind women, who are causing the bottleneck. I don’t get it either.
Tory from Knoxville, Tennessee writes:
I feel embarrassed in asking this question, but I’m in dire need of some advice. I’m a pretty big guy who sweats a lot. But I also like to walk when I play. Several times each season, particularly in the hot and humid months of the season, I develop major bouts of crotch rot, and I spend the next two days walking like I’ve just shat a watermelon out of my ass. I’ve tried everything, you name it… I’ve even tried going “commando” on a few occasions and that doesn’t help. Short of wearing ShamWow boxers, what can I do to help alleviate the severe chafing?
Troy, for starters… there’s no need to feel embarrassed. I can assure you that you’re not the only guy who has laid in bed au naturel after a round of golf, powdered up with Gold Bond, with a fan operating a full speed while you’re spread-eagle. It’s a common ailment, especially for us big guys. To avoid future cases of severe crotch rot, follow these instructions prior to a round of golf. For starters – apply a generous layer of hydrocortizone cream to the areas usually affected. Then throw on a pair of biker shorts – the tight, spandex type. Problem solved, my friend. I’ve been Golf Bond free for years now. Give it a try. You can thank me later.
Jeff from Tacoma, Washington writes:
I love golf, but I’ve grown tired of playing in the rain here. The rain is part of the challenge, I understand…. it’s a game played outdoors, in the elements. And if I don’t play in the rain, then my rounds each season would undoubtedly be cut in half, and I don’t want to play less golf. So my question is this: what can I do to improve my game on those days when I do play in wet weather?
Jeff, for starters you can purchase rain gloves (FootJoy is my personal favorite) to help with the wet grips. If you can’t grip the club, you have absolutely no control of the club. So that’s the first item on your list. Secondly, invest in a good quality rain suit. Again, Footjoy is my personal favorite. Good quality rain wear isn’t cheap. Expect to spend somewhere in the neighborhood of $150 for a waterproof top and bottom. Beyond that, it’s all about being able to adjust to the conditions. If the fairways are wet and soft, you have to account for the “splash” factor at impact. Just as the tires on your car will hydroplane in standing water, so to will the club head if it splashes into the ground before you impact the ball. That’s why it’s vital to make ball-first contact. In wet conditions I simply move the ball back in my stance an inch or two to ensure that I’m hitting the golf ball before the wet turf. Obviously the sand will be much heavier and more compacted when it’s wet. You need to factor that in with your club selection when hitting from a bunker. Ideally you would want a wedge with less bounce when hitting from a greenside bunker with wet, compacted sand (which is opposite if you’re hitting from light, fluffy sand under normal conditions). In either instance, acceleration through the hitting area is the key. Keep the clubhead moving through the sand. Lastly, accept the fact that the conditions are going to be tougher and as a result you’re not going to hit every shot as planned. A golf club can move through normal dry rough much easier than wet rough, for instance. So these things are just a few examples of needing to adjust to the conditions. And also, keep in mind of the mental adjustment needed by lowering your expectations accordingly. It’s tough to concentrate when it’s raining. But golf is a game of concentration, so just do your best and don’t get down on yourself when a shot doesn’t come off as planned. Lastly – if you do spend a lot of time playing in the rain, then it would make sense to me to actually spend some of your practice time in the rain as well. Granted, a lot of practice ranges might not be open when it’s raining outside, but unless it’s a heavy rain, some courses will be open. Spend a few hours and go out and play a practice round in the rain to get precise feedback. Do those things and you will definitely see an improvement in your scoring on those wet, rainy days.
Darrel from Watertown, NY writes:
I think that the PGA Tour players whine too much about course conditions. They play on perfectly groomed surfaces, the sand bunkers are well maintained and consistent, nice, lush fairways that offer them 20-30 yards of additional roll from the tee. Half of the fairways they play are stimped faster than some of the greens I play on each week. If these guys had to play in typical, public golf conditions, I bet they’d shoot several strokes higher each round. These guys are spoiled.
Well, Darrel… I’m inclined to agree with you that they might be spoiled just a tad, at least from our perspective. We do encounter a slightly different challenge regarding conditions than they do. But make no mistake about it – these guys would absolutely tear your home course to shreds. Think of the longest par4 at your club, and subtract 300 yards from that. The holes where you’re hitting driver-fairway wood or long iron to reach in two shots, they’re hitting 3wood and short iron, maybe even wedge. The putting surfaces would certainly be less smooth, and slower… but they’d quickly adjust and they’d have very few problems converting the 8-10 footers for birdie on the slower greens. It sounds like you’ve never been to a PGA Tour event, so do yourself a favor and catch one sometime. Expect to be wowed, by even the no-names. These guys aren’t just good, they’re the best in the world. Your 7000 yard home course with a 137 slope rating will get freakin obliterated, and your mental psyche will never be the same there, ever again.
That’s gonna wrap up this segment of Reader (e)mail. Thanks to all who took the time to send in questions/comments.
If you have questions or comments for the blog Reader (e)mail segment, send them to: southpaw_golfer69@yahoo.com
