Archive for January, 2011

Golf Joke

January 24, 2011

One day a man decided to retire…

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life; that is, until the ship sank.
He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, “Where did you come from? How did you get here?”

She replies, “I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank.”

“Amazing,” he notes. “You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.”

“Oh, this thing?” explains the woman. “I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island.

The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.”

“But, where did you get the tools?”

“Oh, that was no problem,” replied the woman. “On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware.”

The guy is stunned.

“Let’s row over to my place,” she says.

So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and treehouse.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, “It’s not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please.”

“Would you like a drink?”

“No! No thank you,” the man blurts out, still dazed. “I can’t take another drop of coconut juice.”

“It’s not coconut juice,” winks the woman. “I have a still. How would you like a pina colada?”

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.

After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, “I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There’s a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs.”

No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

“This woman is amazing,” he muses. “What’s next?”

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned. She smells faintly of gardenias.

She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.

“Tell me,” she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, “We’ve both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. There’s something I’m certain you feel like doing right now, something you’ve been longing for, right?” She stares into his eyes.

He can’t believe what he’s hearing. “You mean…” he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,

“You’ve built a Golf Course ?”

2010 in review

January 2, 2011

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meterâ„¢ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 7,200 times in 2010. That’s about 17 full 747s.

 

In 2010, there were 426 new posts, not bad for the first year! There were 161 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 7mb. That’s about 3 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was May 17th with 110 views. The most popular post that day was Woods at Critical Crossroad in Career.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were oldehomesteadgolfclub.com, digg.com, facebook.com, golfdope.com, and twitter.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for erica blasberg, john daly weight loss, erica blasberg autopsy, matt every arrested, and dottie pepper.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

Woods at Critical Crossroad in Career May 2010
9 comments

2

New Revelations in Erica Blasberg’s Death June 2010
1 comment

3

K.J. Choi’s New Putting Method: Side Saddle July 2010
2 comments

4

Merion Golf Club has Wicker Baskets, Olde Homestead has Windsocks! July 2010
2 comments

5

Interview with Dr. Bill Kroen (Part Two) March 2010
2 comments


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