Somebody Please Wake Jerry Rice Up…

I don’t like kicking guys when they’re down. But Jerry Rice isn’t just down, he’s down and out, baby…

Rice tee’d it up in his second professional golf tournament today at the Nationwide Tour event in South Carolina. And by the looks of his scorecard, he should be more concerned about lead poisoning than just missing the cut.

In a performance that included a “10″ on the par4 2nd hole, Rice would shoot a tournament record high of 20-over par for a 92. Needless to say, when he was asked to give a post-round interview he declined. “I don’t want to talk about golf right now. Had enough.”

Oh, come on, Jerry… Say something. Talk us through that 30-minute train wreck on the second hole of the day. Tell the fans out there how you double bogeyed the 4th, 6th, 8th, and 16th. Explain what went wrong with that triple bogey on the 13th. Hate the player, bro… don’t hate the game.

You see, these guys aren’t just good, Jerry… they’re damned good. They don’t fluff up the ball in the rough, they play it down, baby. And they don’t rake back those 4 footers that your weekend buddies consider gimmees. And the courses they play have some MEAT on them, bro… with lots of sand and water. But you like that sand, don’t you, Jerry… and you love that agua.

Hey, you gave it a shot. I’ll give you your due credit for not being afraid to try. Nothing lost, nothing gained. I’m down with that. Now just go back to your nice, easy, home course and continue talking smack to your fellow weekend hackslaps when you occasionally break 80.

ARTICLE

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One Response to “Somebody Please Wake Jerry Rice Up…”

  1. Kenny Cultraro Says:

    “If I can play football and go across the middle with a db trying to take my head off, how hard can it be to put a little white ball in a hole”

    WRONG!!!!!!

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